I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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