Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
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Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
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I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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