if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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