which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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