we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
someone owes me an orgasm
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
