He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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