I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
