I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
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As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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