Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
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Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
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I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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