I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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