how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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