Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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