Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The Rock won.

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  (505): We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive. (505): The Rock won. http://tfl.nu/hvm5
  Replies (32) Good night (637) Bad night (913)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low

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  (704): so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low http://tfl.nu/2nm4
  Replies (4) Good night (696) Bad night (1472) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.

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  (708): I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle. http://tfl.nu/qqv1
  Replies (12) Good night (472) Bad night (3947) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards

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  (407): He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards http://tfl.nu/ieco
  Replies (24) Good night (1089) Bad night (4014) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.

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  (414): and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you. http://tfl.nu/lmfo
  Replies (27) Good night (6284) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".

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  (801): He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied". http://tfl.nu/4up3
  Replies (12) Good night (1933) Bad night (3748) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.

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  (707): I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it. http://tfl.nu/727e
  Replies (26) Good night (1250) Bad night (4610)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE

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  (612): Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE http://tfl.nu/81rr
  Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift

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  (415): Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift http://tfl.nu/8l3h
  Replies (7) Good night (1084) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell

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  (905): Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell http://tfl.nu/79c2
  Replies (3) Good night (1223) Bad night (332) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today

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  (306): I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today http://tfl.nu/t6ni
  Replies (0) Good night (809) Bad night (427) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any

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  (719): I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any http://tfl.nu/l6nw
  Replies (1) Good night (216) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.

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  (315): So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt. http://tfl.nu/iloo
  Replies (1) Good night (433) Bad night (223) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...

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  (845): So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first... http://tfl.nu/kd9w
  Replies (3) Good night (690) Bad night (326) Order T-Shirt
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  (936): View more from Texas

  If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on

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  (936): If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on http://tfl.nu/8phy
  Replies (3) Good night (613) Bad night (107) Order T-Shirt

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