fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone