I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
