wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
