the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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