Soap is not a condiment
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
cat food counts as protein by the way
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
