you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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