I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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