Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
