Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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