i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
