so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
how does that bad decision feel?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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