Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Soap is not a condiment
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize