just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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