I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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