so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
