Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
