she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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