Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
