WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
