Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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