Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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