he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
