we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize