of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
