so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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