Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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