WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
