the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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