Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
