i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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