last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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