Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
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I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
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She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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