Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
we made out on top of his cat.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
