the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
