I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
