i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you never un-have a 4some
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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