I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I smell stomach acid.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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