Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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