Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize