In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize