Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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