i already hear my dad disowning me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
