my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize