would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
