Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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