if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize